Since the players knew Fiesty Foster would be done Danny has averaged 21.5 points per game. He even seems to be growing into his groove as of late. He has been averaging 24.4 point per game in his last 5 games. It seems now that Granger knows this is his team. He’s taking it upon himself to be the anchor and he is flourishing. Now this is a small sample size of his career and maybe this all goes away. But, the coincidences certainly can’t be brushed away.

The playoffs are coming. We’re on the fast track to being in the third spot in the eastern conference. Now some say I might be a homer, but we can beat the Bulls. We made it a lot closer than people thought last year and now we’ve added David West, George Hill, Leandro Barbosa, Lou Amundson, and if Danny Granger keeps playing this way we could seriously beat them. Dare I say eastern conference finals? It may be more possible than people think.

But have no fear, Pacers fans. The Blue & Gold Menace have a perfect opportunity to minimize the damage and regain that coveted 4^th place spot. The next 5 games are pivotal in determining if this team will have Home Court Advantage in the 1^st round of the playoffs.

Here is a quick run-down of the Pacers, Magic, and Hawks next 5 opponents:

As you can see, we have a real opportunity to gain back a position or two in the coming days. Not only are 3 of our next 5 at home, but the teams we play are simply God-awful. Charlotte may very well be one of the worst teams of all time, and we play them twice! The toughest opponent we play, Golden State, is 3-6 on the road. The Pacers, at the very least, should go 4-1 in the next 5.

Orlando’s next game is at home against a Milwaukee team who is just on the outside looking in for that 8^th seed in the east. After that, however, the Magic embark on a 5-game road trip, with two tough matchups against Miami and Atlanta in the first 4 games of the trip. Orlando more than likely will go 3-2 during this stretch, but it would not be a complete shock to see them split with Milwaukee and go 2-3.

Atlanta faces a proverbial juggernaut of a schedule. Not only do they have three games left of a 5-game road trip, but the remaining trip spans three different time zones each against teams destined for the playoffs. They then return home to face Orlando, no easy task by any stretch. Atlanta will be lucky to go 2-3 during this stretch.

4^th place is within our grasp, and very well could be ours again by the end of the month. Coach Vogel’s men just have to rest up these next few days, and keep focused on the task at hand. The win against the Nets last night was big, and it’s definitely going to be interesting to see if we’ve truly gotten out of our recent 5-game funk.

Now, let me set the record straight. I’ve been a Butler fan even before they went to two national titles. I rooted for Hayward. I also understand that he’s from Brownburg. But, when the fans cheer louder for Gordon Hayward than when Paul George hits a three, it strikes a nerve.

When can this team stop being the bastard child of Indianapolis and start getting true loyalty from it’s fans? The Pacers currently rank 28th in the league in attendance. Let me say that one more time. Twenty-eighth in the league. Out of thirty. The Bobcats, who have only won one game in their last nineteen, average more than two thousand people a game than us. Not to mention that the people we do get to games it seems to be a miracle if we get anything more than a golf clap from them. WE ARE 17-7 RIGHT NOW!

Yet, what do the loyal Pacers fans keep hearing around town? The team sucks. I stopped watching when Reggie left. They’re a bunch of thugs. Those days are behind us people. We have a team. A good team. We’re clawing to the top of all of the national power rankings.

So, we’re going to keep booing Gordon Hayward. We’re going to keep giving our voices and souls to the Pacers. Between rooting for a player who used to be ours and denying your team, this jerk on Eddie White’s show and the rest of you can keep doing what you’re best at, living in the past.

The brother of Amare Stoudemire, Hazell Stoudemire Junior, died in a car accident the other night and since then his brother Amare has taken an “indefinite leave of absence”. The facts are not good. Hazell Jr. was driving at a “high rate of speed”, wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and drinking MAY have been involved from Hazell Jr’s side. Those are three things he should not have been doing and someone else could’ve been hurt as well. But, he was a son and a brother and this incident has left a hole in the hearts of people. Chanting and cheering against Amare Stoudemire is something we all do as Pacers fans, but this day is an exception. You can tweet him support @Amareisreal. I know every show of love will help just a little bit so please do. Also, everyone please drive safe and tell people you love them. Any of us could die just going to a Pacer game, so treat every day like your last.

Chris Kaman Isn’t Coming

This was a very short-lived dream for any Pacers fan and for good reason. Kaman was being openly shopped by New Orleans recently. In a very quick turn of events, the New Orleans Times-Picayune is reporting that Chris will once again play for the Hornets. What does this mean? Well, rumors were that David Stern and Dell Demps (Hornets GM) were asking for young talent, draft picks, and to save money in the process. So, as you can imagine, possible trade partners all said collectively ”HEEELLLLL no”. Larry Bird has said he doesn’t want to make a move to make a move and giving up any one of our key players would really be a big mistake.

The Times Will be a Changin’

How the NBA has gone this season has really gone well for the Pacers. But, what has come to seemingly be the new landscape of the NBA may soon take another turn again. Injuries are one big factor. Derrick Rose, Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Brook Lopez, and our own George Hill have been a few that have really made an impact on our season. The way those players return or if new players get hurt could be GIGANTIC component on our playoff standing. Another reason to be weary of change? There’s less reason for players to get hyped. That’s right. It’s the middle of the season and it’s time to find out who can sustain motivation. Some teams will drop across the league because of this.

I Want Bismack Biyombo

Call me stupid, I don’t care. I’m following my heart! I love this guy. Let’s just go through some of his awesome attributes:

- He’s 19, but has the maturity of a 30 year old

- Bismack speaks 5 languages

- Only player in Nike Hoop Summit history to get a triple-double (Points, Rebounds, Blocks)

- Insane physical specimen, he’s got a heart of gold but could crush a common man in one squeeze of his hand

Bismack is averaging 1.4 blocks per game in limited minutes, but is very raw at the offensive end. I would love for Roy and Jim Boylen to get their hands on him and teach him how to put the ball in the basket. It seems like an amazing investment with him taking minutes like Lou Amundson in the meantime. Would you people in internet land like Bismack? First rounder and maybe a little more? Hmmmmm?

Greetings, 55ers!  Tonight we don our gear, paint our faces, and take on that most oxymoronic of NBA squads, the Utah Jazz.  Utah’s playing pretty well.  They’re 13-10 in the Northwest and, without a lot of stars or notoriety, have been quietly improving.  Saturday, they beat the Lakers.  Anytime we bump up against a team like Utah, possessed of a winning record, a challenge looms.  Our boys have to take the Jazz seriously.

Still, the Pacers will have a couple of advantages tonight that are perhaps worth mentioning.  First, it’s the Jazz, and not us, that will be playing the butt-end of a back-to-back for a change.

Second, Utah looked pretty lackluster last night in their 99-88 road loss to the Knicks, managing to lose fairly convincingly despite the absence of New York’s normal one-two punch of  Amare Stoudemire (out attending his brother’s funeral), and Carmelo Anthony (out after 6 minutes of play with a groin pull).  True, the Jazz’s center, Al Jefferson, had 22 points, but he pulled down only 4 rebounds.  And Utah’s perennial Pacer-killer, Paul Milsap, went 3-10 and amassed only 9 points before fouling out.  The Knicks’ Jeremy Lin, inserted at point guard by Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni in a sort of an “I don’t have anybody else to put in at point” sort of move, thoroughly outplayed Utah’s point-man Devin Harris, scoring 28 points and doling out 8 assists in the effort.

Third, the Jazz are a bit banged up.  Ancient Al Jefferson has tendonitis in a knee.  Shooting guard Raja Bell has just come back from a week off with an abductor strain.  Harris is nursing a sore hamstring and ex-Pacer Earl Watson missed Friday’s game with a bad ankle.

The Pacers are one of the few teams in the NBA that can boast about not losing two-in-a-row this season.  Let’s help them keep this feat alive, 55ers and send the interlopers from Utah whimpering back to Salt Lake City.

PTO Doings!  Now that the Superbowl has come and gone, and Indy returns to placid normality, the Pacers Tailgating Organization will reportedly reconvene in its open-air home at the Nameless Parking Lot Across from Arby’s.  The conclave will probably begin around 5:00 P.M. although, as usual, this is by no means certain.  Look for the usual felons and ne’er-do-wells standing around, hobknobbing, and sipping alcohol from paper bags in the Nameless Lot and join in on the fun.

Lest you be confused, PTO attendees can be distinguished from the homeless wine-heads that inhabit the railroad overpass adjacent to the Nameless Lot by their distinctive Pacers gear and generally more cheerful demeanor.  Both, the PTO regulars and the wineheads will ask you for money and drinks, however, so be forewarned.

Kudos to the Rookies!   On behalf of himself and all the other  Season One Vets, your Prez takes this opportunity to congratulate all the Rookie members of Area 55 on their general Section 101 performance to date.  The NBA season is now about a third gone and all the Vets think our Rooks merit very high marks.  Attendance has been good; the enthusiasm has been there; and you guys are turning into seasoned veterans in your own right.  Keep up the good work!  By the way, our mentor, Roy, will be doling out his coveted Midseason Awards next week.  Among the categories will doubtless be a Rookie of the Year prize.  You’re all in the running, so don’t slack off.  One of you might win a bobble-head!

Vets and Rooks are encouraged to meet and mingle.  Owing to the Superbowl, PTOs have been sparse of late and opportunities for us to socialize have been few.  No excuses anymore.  Let’s all get to know one another.  Rookies, hit the PTOs if possible.  Vets, consider exchanging your up-front seating for a half or so with a Rookie normally situated in 101’s Himalayas.  It’d be nice if more of us were on a first-name basis.

Cleveland Trip! Well, Maybe!  Tony “Duke Dynamite” Laurenzana advises me that he’s been working on a $25.00 package deal for Area 55 members to travel to Cleveland to see our boys play the Cavaliers. The $25.00 charge would include the price of a ticket and transportation there and back.  As usual, all this is merely rumor.  However, with Area 55 and Laurenzana, rumors have a dangerous tendency to burst into fruition.  Stay tuned.  I for one would be up for another road trip if work permits.  Last year’s impromptu jaunt to Milwaukee was certainly memorable. We’ll see about the Cleveland trip.  Stay tuned!

NOW FOR SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT UTAH!!!

Oh, Those Mormon Homiest!   Utah’s jazzy B-ballers play their games at the “Energy Solutions Arena,” usually before rabid fans known for their vociferous partisanship.  This fact has not gone unnoticed in the NBA dream world of “whoops, I didn’t really mean to say that” punditry.

In a 2008 radio broadcast, ESPN’s NBA sideline yapper, Ric Bucher, suggested that the reason Utah was one of the toughest places to play was because their fans are so pent-up and frustrated because, you know, well, they’re…Mormons.  Bucher advanced this thesis thusly:

“It is the most intimidating place to play because of the configuration of the arena…and let’s be honest, they are Mormons, they are in Salt Lake, and there is nothing else there. You know, [Mormons] gotta smile and be happy all the time. This is the one opportunity for people to get vicious in a fair arena. And the fans seem to take full advantage of it.”

Jazz fans and clean-living polygamists alike were so pissed at Bucher’s remarks that they inundated ESPN with complaints and forced both Bucher and ESPN to apologize.

Bucher was thusly contrite:

“I knew immediately that I had made an inappropriate connection between Mormons and the harsh reception that opposing teams sometimes experience inside Energy Solutions Arena. I regret making that connection and apologize to anyone of the Mormon faith for having done so. And (I hope) that all citizens of Salt Lake City will find it in their hearts to welcome me as hospitably as they have in the past.”

Some NBA players have also had occasion to comment on the enthusiasm of the Salt Lake City fan base:

Following a 1997 playoff road loss by the Bulls to the Salt Lake City-based Jazz, Rodman said,

“It’s difficult to get in sync because of all the (expletive deleted) Mormons out here. And you can quote me on that.”

Afterwards, Dennis said his remarks were brought on by Jazz fans that were making obscene gestures at him. However, according to press reports, Rodman supposedly had also made lewd comments about Mormons on two prior occasions.

Like Bucher, Rodman too was sincerely apologetic:

“If I knew it was like a religious-type deal, I would have never said it. I’m sorry about that.”

Phil Jackson, Rodman’s coach at the time, tried to explain Dennis’ remarks by noting,

“To Dennis, a Mormon may just be a nickname for people from Utah. He may not even know it’s a religious cult or sect or whatever.”

Dennis later received a $50,000.00 fine, the largest fine up to then ever assessed on a player for his remarks.

So it goes.

Al Jefferson!  Watch Your Back!  As we all know, NBA basketball players are human beings.  They have lives off-court.  Some, however, have livelier lives than others.  Back in December of last year, Utah Jazz center Al Jefferson made a frantic call to local police.  Why?  Al, it seems, had been viciously attacked by his girl friend, Shirley Lewis.

According to the probable cause statement filed by police in the case, a verbal argument at Jefferson’s Cottonwood Heights mansion took place between Lewis, 38, and Jefferson, 26.  The argument then escalated to violence when Lewis allegedly hit Jefferson and then bit him on his back.

Jefferson refused to discuss the incident at Utah’s media day for the 2011-12 season.

“It’s a personal matter and I’m done talking about it. I want to discuss basketball. I know you’ve got some good questions about basketball, right?”

Reporters gave Jefferson space. But Big Al did take a moment to reflect on a strong seven-year professional career that sometimes has been overshadowed by off-court drama

“It’s life, man. Life is full of adjustments, full of changes. It’s life.”

Hey, Look!  It’s Olive Gordon!  Former Butler Bulldog standout, Gordon Hayward, has cracked the big-time and now starts at forward for the Jazz.  However, success has not spoiled Gordon.  In a jaunt to New York City, one of America’s culinary capitals, Gordon was found dining not in one of Little Italy’s finest dining spots.  Instead, Gordon opted for a $13 meal at a Times Square Olive Garden.  Gordon’s assessment of his menu choice, Olive Garden’s “The Original Spaghetti with Meat Sauce”?

“It was good!”

When asked where he went for lunch between the Jazz’s morning shoot-around and their game with the Knicks, Gordon’s comment was similarly emphatic and terse:

“Subway”

That’s it, 55ers.  Be loud, proud, and nasty tonight.  And if you are so inclined, bring Gordon Hayward a can of Spaghetti-Os.

GO PACERS!  GO AREA 55!

Salutations, 55ers!

Damn!  Didja see last night’s game?  We beat Dallas on the road!  We haven’t done that in 8 years!  And get this:  it was our 10^th road win this year.  Of all the NBA teams out there, only the Bulls (with a considerably weaker road schedule) have as many wins as that.

And get this too!  Paul George went nuts!  Frank Vogel played him for over 41 minutes because he was totally unstoppable.  In that period, PG amassed a career-high 30 points, going 7-11 from 3-point land (one shy of Reggie Miller’s Pacer-best of 8).  He also pulled down 9 rebounds; doled out 5 assists; and stole the ball 5 times.  It was his best night in a Pacers uniform.  It was an awesome performance.  The rest of our boys played pretty well too. David West had a season high 20.  Danny chipped in 16; DC2 had 13 and Roy had 9 points and 14 rebounds!

Knocking off Dallas made it four straight wins for the Pacers: We’ve beaten Orlando, New Jersey, Minnesota, and now Dallas in succession. At 16-6 we now have the third best record in the East.  Only Chicago (19-6) and Miami (17-6) are better.  This is bliss!  This is great play!  This is basketball Nirvana!

Tonight, don your Mickey Mouse ears and come hungry for some Dwight-meat!

Yup, we get to again see our old friend Dwight (“Trade Me!) Howard and his other close buddies from the Magic Kingdom.  Consider this a BLF rematch.

You’ll recall that the last time the Disneys invaded BLF, they smacked us with a 102-83 thumping.  We revenged that a couple nights later 106-85.  But they embarrassed us in our house.  We can’t have that!

Now comes the rubber.  Let’s all be in our seats early and get loud and nasty.  It’s been a long time since Indiana has won five games in a row.  With all the foreigners in town, the game’s likely to be a sell-out.  There’ll probably even be a few Orlando jerseys in the house too.  Our voices and theatrics will be on view.  Let’s not disappoint.

Commissioner Stern, Act Quick! Help Kevin Love!!!!!  Fellow 55ers, did any of you happen to catch Kevin Love’s comments about the Pacers after our boys throttled the Wolves in our most recent northern sojourn in Minneapolis?  No?  Well, here’s what Kevin had to say about us postgame:

“(They think) they are so tough,” Love said. “They take those pills and they got all that toughness. I don’t know where that comes from. They all think they are tough guys. I just don’t know where that comes from. It just blows my mind. They are all tough and that makes me laugh.” [Emphasis supplied]

The part of the above statement that particularly piqued my interest was Kevin’s pronounced belief that our guys’ smashmouth success is attributable to massive consumption of performance-enhancing “toughness” pills.

Poor Kevin!  It is he, not us, that is under the influence of drugs!

I know of what I speak.

I am a child of the 1960s – the psychedelic era when drug consumption was prolific and endemic.  I did my undergrad stuff at time when everyone was smoking or swallowing something or other – hashish, marijuana, LSD, mescaline, growth hormones, horse tranquilizers, banana rinds.  You name it: people were taking it.

Without going into my own personal activities during this fevered period, suffice it to say that I am something of an authority on drugs and drug use.  Accordingly, when I read Kevin’s post-game statement, I shook my head regretfully but knowingly.

“Poor guy,” I thought.  “Kevin has ODed on triptonecrotropine!”

Triptonecrotropine is an illegal and highly addictive drug.  It is known (and sold) on the street under the names “TNT”, “Happy Talk”, “Grab” and “Hair”.  It is generally taken orally in readily comestible pills.  However, in its crystalline form, it can be smoked or alternatively heated into a particularly potent injectible form that its abusers then mainline with borrowed needles.

However taken, the effects of TNT are basically the same. Users are prone to short but  energetic displays of extreme physicality, dangerous aggression , and irrational babbling.  Prolonged usage leads to serious loss of IQ, episodes of clear paranoia, and severe anti-social behavior — generally manifested by rash and uncontrolled statements and threats, and often by downright dangerous acts of primitive, animal-like conduct and behavior.

The side-effects of triptonecrotropine are also well-known to medical science: extreme hirsutism (most often manifested in the form of inordinate growth of lush facial hair); unexpected and irrational animosity and hatred (generally directed at former friends and loved ones); spastic bouts of flatulism; loose stools; prolonged periods of intense and solitary masturbation; and excited displays of gorilla-like bombast, chest-pounding, and disjointed  and incoherent verbal statements.

TNT is a curare derivative.  It is obtained from the backs of poisonous Amazonian frogs.  It was first employed by Bolivian headhunters in pre-war or pre-hunting tribal rituals and displays taken to sharpen spear-throwing aim and in order to instill an artificial sense of outward outrage courage. It is now mostly used (or, better, abused) by rogue professional athletes (particularly white NBA basketball players) in hopes of enhancing on-court jumping and rebounding skills and as an anti-depressant, usually taken to assuage particularly serious on-court lapses and defeats. Reportedly, when taken, TNT is not detectable in any known blood test presently administered by the NBA.

Having seen the damage that TNT abuse can wreak, I now strongly believe that Kevin Love was under the influence of this powerful drug when he accused the Pacers of popping pills.

So don’t be too hard on Kevin Love, fellow 55ers.  Pity him.  It was the triptonecrotropine talking, and not the real Kevin Love.

A copy of this Newsletter is being discreetly mailed to NBA Commissioner David Stern.  We can’t have triptonecrotropine abuse marring the family-friendly atmosphere that is the desired NBA experience.  Commissioner Stern, intervene now!  Kevin Love needs your help!

On this poignant note, I end.

GO PACERS!  GO AREA 55!

Scenario 1: Going after Chris Kaman: Kaman is a very talented center in this league who is being openly shopped by the New Orleans Hornets. Why? Dell Demps and David Stern are looking towards the future with this team and Kaman is holding back some of the younger talent. Honestly, this move doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for the Hornets. Both Kaman and Emeka Okafor are 29, they say they’re looking for youth so why aren’t they shopping Okafor? He has three more years on his contract which could hurt a rebuilding process while Kaman has only one year. Logic aside, Kaman would be a great pick-up at the right price. Problem is David Stern is holding that team hostage and is being very picky about what he gets back. Rumor is he wants young talent, draft picks, and to save cap space…… good luck.

Scenario 2: Bringing home Eric Gordon: This by far is the most popular one. The Pacers need a go-to scorer and Gordon is a home-town favorite. He becomes a restricted free agent at the end of the year and would be a great addition with some conditions. One condition is price. Gordon is a free agent. There are stupid GM’s who will pay anyone anything just to get them on their team, smart or not. So, Gordon could easily be outbid. Gordon is also a restricted free agent, so the Hornets may match anything the Pacers throw on the table. Reason three is even more important and is rarely mentioned. Injury. Everyone from Indy seems to find it convenient to forget this fact. Gordon has never played close to a full season and there’s good reason to believe that this is a pattern.

Scenario 3: Bringing in Wilson Chandler: I’m seemingly the only person who’s thought to bring this one up. He’s currently playing overseas in China right now and once their season is over he can sign with whatever team he wants. Here’s the thing, the Pacers are the only team with any real amount of money to sign him. His last team, the Nuggets, spent all of their money on Aaron Afflalo and Nene. The Sacramento Kings have almost ten million, the Cavs have seven…… yeah…. snore. If Wilson wants to be on a winner and make more than three million a year the Pacers can gnab him up in March. Frank Vogel’s “Seven Starters” would turn into eight and being in the Eastern Conference Finals this year becomes a real possibility. Our bench’s offense could run through him and our scoring would go up which is currently middle of the pack in the NBA.

Attacking the zone defense: This was very apparent versus the Sacramento Kings. The Kings turned to a zone defense and the Pacers were baffled into an eight point quarter and lost after having a large lead. The best way to beat this is with finding major matchup problems. Down in the paint with Roy or David West would probably be the best way to go.

Improving our own perimeter defense: The Magic showed us one of our major flaws.  With “help” defense our players would come in and aid players who are stuck in bad positions. Here’s the problem. The Pacer that came and helped out has now left a player wide open on the perimeter. The Magic pusnished by drilling three after three. The Pacers need to learn to expand after their defense contracts. To combat this players need to stay vocal and mentally tough.

Never forget about Roy: Roy is our best player right now. He’s so good the Magic felt they needed to double him even though he was being guarded by the consecutive three-time defensive player of the year. Not only is he shooting at a great percentage (over 52%, 14th in the NBA) but he’s averaging a double-double. Keep him involved, get the opposing bigs in foul trouble, doing that is even more important than field goals.

I compare us to the NFL’s San Fransisco 49ers. A team that has been stuck in the purgatory of a mediocre-to-bad team for years. Both previously bludgeoned by bad coaching and crippling roster moves, they have each made resurgences. Lead by coaches with positive messages, have come in with a fighting mentality and plan to win with toughness, defense, and heart. These moving ideas have taken to the soul’s of their players and winning is right alongside. Here’s some things to watch for the Pacers going forward:

Danny Granger’s Play: I don’t want to jinx this….. Danny’s playing great. His defense has looked superb and since he’s started shooting during the rise of his shot, not on the descent, jumpers have been falling much easier for him.

Roy Hibbert’s toughness: I’m going to say this with all the love in the world to Roy. He used to be pushed around way too easily. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. He’s improved incredibly in both aspects. This is leading to an All-Star type season. Now, Roy’s production did dip after having great numbers at the beginning of last year, though I don’t see this happening again. Roy is stronger in every way and is even running offense through the post. Roy is the Sledgehammer (He needs a nickname and I’m sticking to this one).

Extending 4th year players: George Hill and Roy Hibbert fit this criteria.  Roy wants to stay, his agent seems to be pulling the strings though to get Roy a better deal. That part is a nightmare for the Pacers. As much as Roy deserves to get paid handsomely, paying him what some centers in the NBA are getting (Tyson Chandler and Marc Gasol make around 15 mil. per year) could cripple the Pacers’ future. I could see George Hill making around 5 million a year and rumors are the two sides are talking. Keeping George could be huge if he keeps playing like has of late. The deadline to re-sign them is this Wednesday (Jan. 25th) and if the Pacers don’t sign them by then they become restricted free agents next year, so we can match any offer made to them.

Area 55 NOTICE! Smitshappens.com has decided we are going to put cotton or kleenex in our nose as a salute to our beloved Roy Hibbert and his effort against the Lakers. You are encouraged to bring portable kleenex or cotton to the game and SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!

Salutations fellow 55ers!

Wow!  Who’da thunk it.  When was the last time the Pacers have come back from a western road swing after winning 2 out of 3?.  This time we come away with stellar wins over Golden State and the vaunted Lakers.  And when you think about it, with our blowing that 16 point lead we had back in Sacramento, it sure could have been 3-3.

It looks like what everyone has been saying about us may just be true. Maybe we really are for real!

But hey, don’t tell anybody!  We’ve been doing just fine being the NBA’s best kept small-market, never-on-national-TV secret.  In a post-game interview after the Golden State steal (Thank you, George Hill!), Roy summed it up:

“I like to say to the guys in the locker room, we’re the best-kept secret,” Indiana center Roy Hibbert said. “Nobody’s talking about us. The Indiana Pacers are the best-kept secret. Let everybody talk about the teams and have them ranked ahead of us, and we’re just going to go ahead and just do our business and chop them down.”

Yes!  And here’s a little Bob Marley big, big tree-chopping music to use on Superman, Roy!

If you are the big, big tree
We are the small axe
Ready to cut you down
To cut you down
If you are the big, big tree, let me tell you that
We are the small axe
Ready to cut you down
To cut you down 

Yup, tonight, in Orlando, we have a very big tree to cut down.  It’s no time to rest on our laurels. It’s going to be another big test — an opportunity for our small axe to measure ourselves against another NBA team that has it going.  (Orlando, my friends, is 11-4 too).

No let up, 55ers! Get yellowed up big time and practice your screams!  Tonight we need to make things extra-difficult for the Dwight and his fellow Disney Boys.  Let’s chop them down!

PTO Doings:  Frigid conditions at the last PTO put a damper on a lot of the planned festivities, resulting in an impromptu adjournment sanctioned by PTO President Aaron “Brickyard” Coleman.  The result had most people stealing off to Scotty’s or other warmer venues.  Still a few diehard non-wusses braved the biting wind and hung out pre-game in the unnamed “Parking Lot Across From Arby’s” and shared their views on the state of Pacer Nation in general and our boys’ chances against Boston in particular.

As we go to print, still no word from the Prez about potential alternate sites for tonight’s PTO.  Brickie likes to keep us guessing.  He also enjoys shared suffering.  Dress warmly, 55ers and hope for the best!

Some Cottony Love for Big Roy!  Last night, in throwing in 18 big ones, pulling down 8 boards, and doling our 4 assists, all in the abbreviated space of 27 minutes, our idol and benefactor also gave up the bridge of his nose to a Kobe Bryant elbow.  A lot of high rollers in the NBA would have stayed in the locker room after something like that.  Not our Roy!  He elected to play wounded (and magnificently) in order to help the Pacers bring home an important marquee win.

Tonight, Area 55 will honor Roy for his effort.  Everybody in 101 is going to have some cotton or gauze stuck in their right nostril as a living memento of Roy Hibbert’s “Red Badge of Courage”.

Artificial blood on the cotton and gauze is optional.

Kudos to 55 Member and “Slick Smits” proprietor, Brian Huser for this excellent idea!

Hey, Let’s Get Lou’s Song Right!  Area 55 likes craziness.  That being the case, there’s something all of us can embrace when embraceable and loony Lou Amundsen takes the Court.  I’ve noticed that when this happens and particularly when Lou does something noteworthy, our Chant Leader and MVP, Kyle “Kielbeze” Brumback, has taken to leading us in singing the chorus from an old, old rock song –“Louie, Louie”.

Unfortunately, I’ve also noticed that neither Brumback, nor anyone else in Area 55, seems to know any of the words to this ditty beyond “Louie, Louie.”  Hell, I doubt that even Lou Amundsen knows the words to this largely indecipherable song.

Anyway, as a result, when Lou does something stellar, most of us have been belting out “Louie, Louie ay ay ay ay ay ay…”   It starts sort of well, but then our voices trail off into a mélange of confused harrumphing, babbling and gargling with everyone looking around for someone who actually knows more of the words.

To correct this deficiency, your Prez has gone out of his way to actually find the words to this strange, phony 1955 Calypso tune that The Kingsmen elected to jazz up and put on vinyl back in 1963.  Because no one could understand the words to “Louie Louie“ back then either, an urban legend grew up to the effect that “Louie Louie” was dirty.  Indeed, The Kingsmen’s version of the song was actually the subject of an FBI obscenity investigation (that ultimately ended without prosecution).  Owing to the misperception that the lyrics contained the F-word, it was also actually banned from the radio airwaves in Indiana back in the 60s.  So let’s at least get the Chorus and a verse or two down the next time we serenade Crazy Lou.

First, the music and vocals of Louie, Louie:

Now, the actual words to the song:

Louie Louie, oh no
Me gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Louie Louie, oh baby
Me gotta go

Fine little girl waits for me
Catch a ship across the sea
Sail that ship about, all alone
Never know if I make it home

CHORUS

Three nights and days I sail the sea
Think of girl, constantly
On that ship, I dream she’s there
I smell the rose in her hair.

CHORUS

Okay, let’s give it to ‘em, right now!

GUITAR SOLO

See Jamaica, the moon above
It won’t be long, me see me love
Take her in my arms again
Tell her I’ll never leave again

CHORUS

Let’s take it on outa here now
Let’s go!!

Note:  If the Area 55 Audio/Visual Committee wants to do a highlight video of Lou (hint, hint!), here’s your background music, girls and boys.

Let’s Pick a New Nick for “Big Baby”!!!:  Orlando’s back up man for Dwight Howard is former Celtic Glen “Big Baby” Davis. Known for his rotund form and concomitant mental issues, Big Baby should be a logical target for Area 55’s special brand of love.

But why is Glen known as “Big Baby”?  Stay tuned.  You’re about to find out!

Glen Davis was given this unusual nickname when he was just 9 years old.  The donor was a youth league basketball coach. At the time of the christening little Glen was 5’6″, 160 pounds.  This made him too large to play pee-wee ball with his more runty peers.  Instead, Glen had to play with 12 year olds that were more his size.

Glen didn’t like this premature competition.  Apparently he used to whine, pout, and cry a lot when the older boys picked on him. His coach – an insensitive lout – was constantly telling him: “Stop crying, you big baby!”  The name, sadly for Glen, stuck.

Thereafter no matter what he did Glen Davis was remained a big, whiny fat kid — “Big Baby.”  The nickname affected his personality.  It made him overly sensitive and prone to giving statements to the press like this one:

“I would have to say [it is important to me to please others] just because of the way people perceive me to be,” he said. “They perceive me to be this fat guy who’s kind of just making it in the league, he’s just here. I want people to like me. I want people to say, ‘Hey this boy can really play, he can play the game, he is a great player.’

“I just want people to love me, to love Big Baby. That’s why I try to have people remember me for my personality, for who I am as a person, outgoing, having fun. I just want to be accepted.

“That’s just something I’ve learned in the offseason — a lot of people might not like you. You have to love yourself because at the end of the day when it’s all said and done, nobody’s going to take care of Glen but Glen. It’s just all about growing up. I’ve grown a lot this offseason and hopefully it will help me with my career.”

So, when he turned pro and came to be a Boston Celtic Glen felt it was time for a change:

“I’ve been called ‘Big Baby’ all through my life. But I’m going through changes. I’m in a cocoon and I’m coming out a different player, a different person. Basically, the new person is growth. I’m shedding that ‘Big Baby’ and you can see something else, not the past.”

So, like a beautiful butterfly, emerging from his cocoon, Glen felt a change was in order.  He requested that Boston fans give him a new nickname.  He solicited suggestions via his Twitter page [@GlenDavisNBA].

At first, he took to calling himself “Big Swole Baby” (presumably because, despite his years at LSU, the word “Swollen” never made it into his vocabulary.  See below:

However, when The Boston Metro’s sports columnist, Jeff Howe, suggested the nick “Uno Uno” — Spanish for Davis’ No. 11 jersey (in the spirit of Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco), Glen reportedly “erupted in delight.”

“I like that,” said Glen. “I’ll be ‘Uno Uno.’ That’s my new name. Don’t call me ‘Big Baby’ any more. ‘Uno Uno.’ I’m serious. If somebody calls me (‘Big Baby’), I’ll be really mad. I’m going to blast that out on Twitter and Facebook.”

Unfortunately, the “Uno Uno” nick didn’t take — either in Boston (where Glen first tried it out) or more recently in Orlando (where “Big Baby” now finds himself after Boston gave him the heave-ho earlier this year).  Behavior like this didn’t help him shed the “Big Baby” image that dogged him in Boston:

Following this incident (which, I think, appropriately highlights Glen’s compelling blend of stupidity and sensitivity), some of the waggish fans in Boston came up with different nicknames for Glen.  These included:

“Big Crybaby” (yeah, Glen actually was crying on the bench after Kevin Garnett so callously hurt his feelings);

“Big Butterfly” (probably because of Glen’s “cocoon” thing);

“The Parade Float” (Big Baby marched one time in a New Orleans Mardi Gras Parade)

“Doscientos Noventa” (a Hispanic parody on “Uno Uno” and Glen’s 290 pound frame);

And my own personal favorite,

“Fat Mamba”

Anyway, maybe Area 55 can help Big Baby out with some other appropriate nickname choices.  Give it a shot!  It’s fun!

Well, duty calls.  Time to wind this up!  After all, a fan can only absorb so much vital info.

Remember, this game is a real biggie tonight.  Let’s give Dwight and his Cartoon Cast from Disneyland a memorable welcome to BLF and to Area 55!

GO PACERS!  GO AREA 55!